The Sports Psychology Blog
This Sports Psychology blog comes as parents are told that their children will not be allowed to compete in the Pony Masters at Hickstead, until they have learnt to behave properly. That is the parents, not the children.
Showjumping: Hickstead - Pushy Parents
Lizzie Bunn, the Hickstead showground director, decided to ban U-16's and their parents, after incidents last year, when organisers decided to move junior finals, from the international arena to a less prestigious ring, because of the weather. A move which left parents incensed.
Many coaches, from football and tennis to trampolining and golf, have problems with parents. Often because of their hidden agendas. Agendas that come out from the parents drive and ambition. not the children's. Parents that want their children to achieve at the highest level, whether their children do or not.
It's critical for coaches to sit down and discuss with parents what their goals are. And discuss with their children, what their goals are. And for the coach to be honest with both parent and child, in assessing what level of performance, they believe the child can attain.
If the parents have ambitious goals, whilst the child simply loves to compete socially, then you have a misalignment of direction. Parents will get frustrated with the coach, who they think isn't doing enough. Whilst, all the time, the child is perfectly happy.
If coach, parents and child cannot agree on the goals and direction, then the coach should ask the parents, either to leave well alone, or take their child elsewhere. If they can agree, then the coach should be left to get on with the job. And progress should be assessed every quarter.
It's great that so many parents take an active involvement in their children's sporting development. But, it's important that they do not try to meet their unmet needs, through the success of their children. For nothing could be more stressful for an innocent child.
