The Confidence Coach Answers Your Sports Psychology Questions
I am always beating myself when things go wrong. How can I stop myself doing this?
This is a very common problem. In every sport. Especially if you are someone who puts a lot of pressure on themselves. Especially so if you are a perfectionist and expect the best from yourself every time you perform. It is one thing having high standards. It is quite another to be constantly criticising yourself when you don't meet those standards. There is usually a reason why you are not perfoming well. And not trying hard enough is probably not the problem.
Beating yourself up when things go wrong may give the impression that you are someone who cares, but it doesn't serve you well. It may look like you are passionate and that you 'want it'. But it doesn't usually make much improvement to your game.
Being hard on yourself usually leads to tension and increased anxiety to get it right. The body just gets more tense. The harder you try the worse it gets. Your tone of voice gets demanding. The body feels that you are upset with it.
The key to manage this is Awareness.
If you are not performing well, there can be a number of reasons for this. Sometimes the body is not at it's peak. You might be trying to perform at a 9/10 level, but your body is at a 6/10 level. You may be tired. Have had a late night. Are run down. Have been travelling extensively. This is OK. It really is.
If this is the case, you will start to get frustrated unless you acknowledge how you really are. You are settting up more tension for yourself because if you expect 9/10 and your body is at 6/10, then you create a massive internal contradiction. The body cannot meet your demand. It has the energy supply for a 6/10 performance, not a 9/10.
Recognise that you are at 6/10. Acknowledge it. Then try settling to perform at 6/10 level. Keep things simple. Don't try too hard. Get the basics right. Nothing more. A good 6/10 will be more effective than a frustrated 9/10 attempt. You will start to feel much more in tune with your body. How it is. What it needs.
This applies especially to golfers, getting frustrated at themselves. Measure how you are today. How you feel...how much energy you have...what your body needs and play the game that matches this level.
See the weblog entry on Tiger Woods that shows how even the very best suffer from this
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Martin Perry: Confidence Coaching & Sports Psychology - 0044 (0) 77897 56425
