The Confidence Booster Newsletter - December 2007
This issue of the Confidence Booster Workout Newsletter focuses on the idea of confidence building through overcoming the dominant trait of perfectionism.
Remember - In The Presence Of Confidence, Doubt Cannot Exist
Gethin Jones's
It's week nine of BBC's Celebrity Come Dancing. Up to this point in the competition, Blue Peter presenter Gethin Jones has delivered pleasing performances. He knows all the dance steps. He has a winning TV smile. A model professional. But he has yet to release any passion or fire. It's as if he is holding something back. Too fearful to really let himself go. To risk being less than perfect. He keeps the best of himself in reserve. Until tonight.
During the week in rehearsal, Gethin has been visited by an acting coach. The acting coach is very smart. He helps Gethin to distinguish between the two sides of his personality. Side One - Geth, the rather conservative, careful and sensitive person who is a bit reserved and fearful of letting his hair down. Side Two - Gethin. A man brimming full of Welsh passion and fire. The essence of Tom Jones made manifest.
On dance night Gethin is like a man released from the shackles of doubt. He dances without inhibition and fear. He cannot help himself. He and his partner the Danish dancer Camilla Dalerup score 39/40. They provoke a standing ovation from the TV audience. This is the same man who for the previous eight weeks had been reserved. Fearful of getting it wrong. Now he has no fear. So what has happened?
The passionate fiery imperfect Gethin was in there all the time. He simply didn't have permission to come out. When the acting coach skilfully separated Geth from Gethin then that permission was granted.
This lesson can hold true for many of us. Beneath a reserved or cautious self is another side of us that exudes confidence. Maybe circumstances have caused us to keep that life in check for fear of getting told off or reprimanded. Driven by perfectionism, we daren't make a mistake.
The symptoms of perfectionism are that we think that failure is unacceptable; we daren't let others see our mistakes; we anticipate and fear disapproval; we criticize ourselves for not being perfect. The dominant trait of perfectionism creates inhibition and anxiety.
Gethin Jones found that seperating Geth from Gethin liberated him from the shackles of perfectionism. Finally freed up, he discovered that fun and enjoyment was comensurate with a quality performance. He connected with himself. For may of us that can be a revelation. When we trust ourselves, we can be so much more powerful that we realise. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to be free.
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Thanks for reading this far down.
Please write to me at martin@theatreofwork.com with any questions or comments.
See you next time.
Martin
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Martin Perry is the Confidence Coach and the author of the popular self-help book The Confidence Booster Workout. His coaching is designed to liberate natural confidence.
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Contact Martin Perry - martin@theatreofwork.com
Tel: 0044(0) 77897 56425
