The Confidence Coach's Sports Psychology Reports
McDonald's Grassroots Mum's Campaign
This report was created by Martin Perry, exclusively for the McDonald's Mum's Grassroots Coaching Project. The aim of this special Sports Psychology report is to give insight into the natural qualites that Mum's have that are transferable into football coaching.
The Research
An Overview
In the first week of January, sports psychologist Martin Perry, conducted a series of conversations with inspirational women who have been successful in the McDonald’s Community Coaching Programme.
The purpose of these conversations was to discover the key qualities that underpinned the women’s endeavour as football coaches; natural, inert qualities that can be found in every woman.
The conversations drew on the women’s rich and varied experience coaching children in the basics of football. What shone through in all these conversations was the sheer unfettered enthusiasm the women possessed for their work. Enthusiasm for seeing young people learn and grow; have fun; develop new skills – both physical, mental and emotional; breakthrough barriers.
Breakthroughs that have made them feel proud as mothers; as women; as football coaches.
Many of the women do not have a traditional background in football. To some observers, it may appear to be a disadvantage for a Community Coach to lack the obvious football psyche; be steeped in football; the games eminent history; their war-wounds as a player.
But coaching mums have turned this to their advantage. Their absence of football history serves them well. They begin with a clean slate, rather than being pre-loaded with how football coaching should be. Thus they bring a freshness to the coaching domain.
The Mum does not have to try to be a know-all. Their Level One Coaching gives them the key skills needed to coach a group of young players.
The Mum doesn’t have to suffer the stress of being a football expert and the more sensitive children don’t experience the damaging psychology of not being good enough.
The Seven Qualities Of A Grassroots’ Coaching Mum
From this research, seven dominant qualities emerged which underpinned the coaching style of all of the mums; in their attitudes; behaviour; mind-sets; values. They are all qualities that women are born with and are easily transferable – from the home to the football pitch.
One: Planning & Organisation Skills
The Skill
Having good planning and organisational skills is essential for a grassroots’ coach. Good planning is the cornerstone of a coach’s work. It means that you arrive at your training sessions, clear about what you intend to do and how you intend to do it. It also means you know what to do if Plan A doesn’t work. You have alternatives up your sleeve.
They see that you are not phased by unexpected twists and turns. Perhaps a training routine that doesn’t work, because it is too hard. Or the players may be a bit moody one day. They may be having trouble concentrating. So your Plan B is ready.
Your experience as a Mum, means that you are unphased by changes. You’ve seen it all before. You have the temperament to handle change with the minimum of fuss and the maximum of certainty. Why? Because you have planned for it.
Because the Grassroots’ Mum is not always steeped in football, then they take more care in planning their sessions. They won’t assume they will get by or work ‘on the hoof’. As a result, their programme has a structure to it that the children appreciate. The structure gives the children a sense of stability and certainty as they learn about what they can do.
And of course timing and time-keeping comes into this discipline. It’s the ability to arrive for training twenty minutes early to set everything up which means managing the rest of your busy life adeptly.
The Maternal Instinct
As a mum, you’re used to juggling a million and one things from washing, dressing and feeding the children, to sorting packed lunches, helping with homework, and doing the daily housework, and you’re able to transfer these skills right on to the pitch.
Summary
So for the mum, expert in the multi-tasking way of life that comes with children, work and domestic life, these organisation and planning skills are second nature.
Two : Patience
The Skill
Patience is the gold in the Grassroots’ Mum Tool-Kit. It’s the eternal quality that affords the child the valuable time and space to develop their skills - naturally.
It’s the opposite of demanding results or being desperate to get it right – now! The Grassroots’ mum will not make the child feel lesser because they cannot do something straight away. It’s underpinned by compassion and understanding of how the child learns and grows.
The Grassroots’ Mum is adept at not showing her frustration even though there may be times when she feels it. She will take the time to teach the children the simple things. Basics, like knowing left from right. Something, more demanding or intolerant coaches would struggle to do. Mums are generally more tolerant of lack of knowledge. Such as a child not knowing the rules of the game. The Mum will explain patiently until the child gets it.
It’s the mark of the maternal patience that comes from knowing that eventually, the child will breakthrough the learning barrier. And even if they don’t – that’s ok. They have tried, and that is all you can ask.
It’s seen in the ease with which the Grassroots’ Mum helps the child as they struggle awkwardly through their mistakes and errors. It’s the patience with which the Mum accepts the child’s current skills and ability level and doesn’t force the child’s development. It quietly informs the child that it is ok to make mistakes and not to try to be perfect.
The Maternal Instinct
It’s a temperament thing. You weren't given a baby manual along with your new bundle in the delivery room, were you? No, you had to get on and do it yourself, learning as you went - and bringing up kids is a lifelong learning experience. But every day you learn and adapt to all the different challenges that being a mother entails. Patience is at the heart of this attitude.
Summary
In the presence of patience, children thrive on the process of learning and developing. Patience is the balm that keeps away destructive criticism and judgement. Without the critical quality of patience. all the coach’s good work can be undone in a stroke.
3: Discipline
The Skill
Discipline is the ability to ensure dispersion and disruption does not interfere with the process of learning. It’s about being clear about what you will have and won’t have and not being afraid of letting the players know when they have broken the golden rules of behaviour.
It’s about creating a culture of respect for those who are teaching you, which means there is no place for cheeky remarks aimed at undermining the coach. The Grassroots Mum will be happy to withdraw a player’s privilege, say the captain’s armband, if they are disruptive.
It’s about being able to set clear guidelines around acceptable behaviour. It means not getting emotionally involved when a player is asked to leave the group for disciplinary reasons. It’s means drawing on the Mum wisdom that knows when to leave a child to stew on their inappropriate attitude, rather than have to try to make it right for them.
It’s the experience that lets you know a child’s tantrum is only temporary, and that their behaviour will change.
Discipline also means teaching your players to not fight fire with fire. That is to not get involved when others provoke them. But to abide by the code of honour found in the rules of the game. For in the rules, you learn and develop good values which builds long-term strength of character.
The disciplined mum will encourage an adherence to fairness and fair play and the right way of doing things versus a win at all costs attitude. There agenda is governed more by learning and development than the pressure of winning.
The Maternal Instinct
Discipline is the art of being able to draw clear boundaries for your children. Letting them know what is or isn’t acceptable. You don’t like having to speak this directly sometimes to your child, but you do so because of what you don’t want them to become or be like.
Summary
In the presence of good discipline, disruptive habits and patterns find no room to flourish in a learning culture. Good manners, politeness and values, the cornerstone of human values, are nourished.
4. Communication Skills
The Skill
Good communication is invaluable in the Mum’s coaching-kit. It’s about the way you explain things; simple language spoken in a clear tone, in a way that the child gets it and understands it. Mums have a knack of being able to communicate in such a way, that even the most restless child becomes engaged.
It’s about being able to explain to the young player what to do and how to do it. This should be delivered in a tone that is not tainted with cynicism but fresh with the enthusiasm that comes with seeing someone else learn and develop. And the enthusiasm that comes from wanting to share your learning with others.
Sometimes it can be no more than a look in the eye. A moment when the child knows what you are saying without you even having to say it.
Other times it’s the art of negotiation - either with child or parent. With the parents it may be about speaking diplomatically and effectively about their child’s behaviour. Maybe they are prone to bullying or inappropriate name calling. It’s the ability to have a personal conversation that gets to the heart of a child’s behaviour without undermining the parents authority and enables the parents to join with you in helping the child to learn more progressive habits and patterns.
Or perhaps it’s a diplomatic conversation to help wean the over-competitive parents off constantly checking on league tables and thus subtly undermining the learning and development culture being built.
The Maternal Skills
Before you had children, you never thought you could sustain a
two-sentence conversation with a child, let alone interact with them and their friends. You know what they're saying and they know what you're saying. And often they know what you're saying, even when you're not saying it.
The Summary
Good communication enables the coach to establish their authority and gain the trust of their players. Communication is the oil that turns the wheels of the coach/child relationship. Communication can inspire; motivate; and cause players to want to do more.
5: Play & Creativity
The Skill
The play ethos is right at the heart of the Mum’s philosophy. They understand that children, especially at a young age, simply want to learn and do.
Mum’s value the quality of experience the child has - for a young child, learning must be fun.
All of the coaching mums are experienced in improvising games with their children to maintain their attention. The Grassroots’ Mum’s place a strong emphasis on the quality of fun especially when they are coaching younger children, children of an age where the experience is of more concern than the outcome or result, children who want to experience the joy of being able to do something and be good at something.
Mum’s make the coaching programmes varied and enjoyable so boredom does not take root. They are aware of the inconsistent concentration levels of some of their players and so endeavour to make training fresh.
They do not want their players to become fixed into certain playing positions, so encourage versatility. So players don’t get fixed with positions they don’t want to play in. For example, a male coach may put a seven year old child in goal every week, because they are seen to be a goal-keeper. Mums tend not to do this as they are sensitive to any discomfort the child may be experiencing.
The Maternal Skill
You do it all the time. Out with the children. They’re bored. They’re demanding. Yet you somehow find a way to entertain them, often using only your imagination. How do you do it? You don’t know! But you do it anyway. Often!
The Summary
In the presence of creativity and fun, the learning process is made easier. The creative and imaginative coach is the one who knows that success on the pitch is a result of getting things right off the pitch. And that begins with putting a smile on the children’s faces.
6: Confidence Building
The Skill
Mum’s are adept at building the natural confidence of their players. They have the compassion to treat all the children as their own, rather than having a bias towards the most skilful or talented players.
Their philosophy is founded on focusing on what the children do right. Rather than picking up on all the small things they get wrong.
Mum’s are content to let the players do what they are comfortable with. They won’t pressurize them to try to do things they can’t do or are not yet ready to do. For example, a child will be encouraged to pass a ball in a way they are comfortable with rather than the authorized way. It’s about making the child feel secure.
As Mum’s don’t always have the confidence to position themselves as experts, the children feel its ok to make mistakes and not try to be perfect. This takes the pressure off the developing child. Perfectionism can negate natural growth and development.
The Mum’s philosophy means that a child who puts the effort in is appreciated as much as one who shows good skills. As a result of this methodology, self esteem and confidence can be resurrected amongst those who cannot easily be helped by more traditional teaching styles. Improved focus and concentration are common traits amongst children who have been taught by Mum’s. Aggressive behaviour is safely channelled though the Mum’s coaching.
The Mum’s are adept at spotting anxiety in their players through negative body language. Their sensitivity picks up on a problem and quickly seeks to address any issues.
They will be aware of when something is bothering the child, for example a child who has Home Learning, may not be used to communicating with other children. Thus self-doubt is not allowed to fester.
The Mum’s maternal and compassionate nature means that they are quick to give their players warmth; a hug; a pat on the shoulder; unconditional encouragement. Nothing grows confidence faster than warmth and support.
The Maternal Skill
It’s what you do best. Giving unconditional warmth and encouragement. A belief in your children. It’s in your heart and soul. You want them to succeed. They know you want them to succeed. And your ready to build them up again when they get knocked down.
Summary
In the presence of confidence, doubt cannot exist. Confidence is in everyone. But sometimes it gets overlaid by doubt and uncertainty. But a child knows when they are with a good coach. Why? Because their confidence is always on the up!
7: Team Spirit (Family)
The Skill
Mum’s are experts at managing families. This quality comes into its own where creating a team ethos is concerned.
Mum’s hold to the belief that there is a place for everyone regardless of their ability. They are also sensitive to which children will work well together when picking teams. They provide opportunity for the children to connect together and build positive relationships, as if they were their own family.
They aim to develop an inclusive environment, providing opportunities for the children to help with tasks, such as collecting cones at the end of the sessions, tidying up and collecting bibs.
It’s about the process collective effort. For example, making sure everyone wins a player of the session award, either through skills or attitude.
Mum’s are also strong on team work. Those with lesser capability are given the attention in small groups to develop their skills. Individual glory at the expense of the team is not encouraged.
Players are encouraged to develop relationships with opposition players. For example, some Mum’s invite the opposition into the clubhouse after the game for a drink and a chat. It’s about learning how to think about your opponents. Remember society isn’t separate from football.
The Maternal Skill
The woman is the glue who holds the family together. They instinctively know everyone’s needs and feelings without them having to say a word. Whose up. Whose down. And they usually know what to do about it as well.
Summary
In the presence of a good team-spirit, the player learns how to put the needs of others before oneself. It’s the critical skill in learning people skills and how to get on well with others.
Read Part Two Of This Special Report - The Managers
Martin Perry: Confidence Coaching & Sports Psychology - 0044 (0) 77897 56425
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