The Confidence Coach Answers Your Sports Psychology Questions
Are people who are loud and extrovert really that confident?
I get regularly asked this question in the Sports Psychology clinics that I give at sports clubs. Especially by golfers, playing a four ball with someone who is loud and brash and who dominates proceedings.
The shy or introverted players can get intimidated and lose their focus and concentration. Yet they know deep down they are better players than this show off.
Sports psychology is all about understanding why people do what they do. So in answer to this question I would say that, Yes - many people give the impression of being confident, with loud outward displays of bravado and noise. We can often fear or be intimidated by these type of people, because they seem to exude such certainty.
They want you to fear them. They enjoy seeing your fear. They feed off the power. It makes them feel important. They need to feel important.
But don't be taken in.
The question is - Is this confidence? Or is it an outward display, an act if you like, that masks an inner doubt, that the person dare not reveal, for they cannot be seen to have weakness.
They need to be seen to be confident, so that no on will suspect that they have self doubt. Have you ever met anyone like this?
The truth is this mask of confidence is often just that. A mask. Designed to hide the fact that inside the person feels insecure. Has doubts. Is anxious. The chances are that they have been hurt in the past and they are damn well not going to let anyone get to them again.
However, is this really confidence? And is it something to be afraid of? The moment that you stand up to this type of person, by showing that you are not afraid of them, there is a good chance they will back down.
Standing up to them doesn't mean that you have to say anything to them. It can all be done by how you think. That you are not going to be intimidated by them. That you know, beneath their veneer of confidence, doubt and fear exists.
Once you know, their 'secret' has been exposed. This knowledge becomes empowering to you, as you now no longer fall into the trap of being a victim. They no longer have you.
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Martin Perry : Confidence Coaching & Sports Psychology - 0044 (0) 77897 56425
