Martin Perry - Confidence Coach & Sports Psychologist
How I Discovered My Gift...And Can Help You Find Yours!
Let me tell you a story. It all began on an airplane from Copenhagen to London. I had been a musician for 15 years. Travelling the world playing music. It had afforded me a great deal of pleasure. And a reasonable living. But I wasn't satisfied. I was restless. I wanted something more mentally stimulating. More challenging.
As I settled down for an in-flight drink, I glanced through the copy of the London Evening Standard, that was lying unread, on the seat next to me. I casually flicked through the paper, and came to the job ads. Now, I wasn't actively seeking a career change. But, I was open to ideas.
So, amongst the ads for telesales reps., and hotel porters, one stood out. It was from a company called Talent seeking a Personal Development Trainer. Now, I had no idea what a Personal Development Trainer was, or who Talent were, but I liked the sound of it.
When I got back to London, I called Talent about the ad.. They were a recruitment company for disaffected young people. Their brief was to try to get these young people, into the work of work.
They booked me in for an interview. When I arrived the next day, at the offices of Talent in South London, I wasn't alone. About fifty others had been invited to attend a briefing about the job.
The nub of it was, that whoever was employed, were going to be sent to, what was known as the worst council estate in Rotherhithe, South London.
Judging by the glances that some in the room gave each other, this wasn't everyone's cup of tea. But I decided to stay with it, and was invited back for a further interview the next day. And was asked to prepare a five minute presentation.
Inside The Mind Of Muhammad Ali...
So with little preparation, I returned the next day. And delivered my presentation. It was called 'Inside The Mind Of Muhammad Ali'. And it attempted to show, how to use the mind, to create the outcomes that you want, using stories from Ali's fights as examples. It was rough and ready. But Talent thought it was imaginative. And they offered me a job.
So, I was now a Personal Development Trainer. Working on the worst council estate in South London. Was it that bad? Well, when I turned up there the next week, to start work, I discovered that the police rarely ventured onto the estate after 10pm. Why?Because it was deemed to be too dangerous. And I had to make the young people fit for the world of work!
Anyway, the training programme began, with around ten young people, between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one, who had been signed up for the course. Talent had designed their own programme. But I didn't pay much heed to it. I didn't feel that textbook style learning, was the way to go.
They were bright young people. But most of them lived a life a crime. Every week-end, they would steal cars, and sell off the contents. They were earning more money than I was!
Some of them were on drugs. Others were subject to severe peer pressure. None of them had ever worked for a living, as far as I could tell. The odds were stacked a mile high, against them succeeding, on my programme. Or any programme for that matter.
The belief was that no one from this estate, made anything of their lives. If they even tried, then there would be peer pressure to confirm, to the behaviour of others.
Beyond A Life Of Drugs...
Whilst the major challenge, was to make them fit for the world of work, my first task was to build trust with them. To somehow demonstrate that I wasn't another do gooder. They had seen plenty of those. And sent them all packing.
Then, I had to find a reason for them, to want to engage in the world of work. After all,they seemed to be doing very nicely financially, as they were.
I had been made aware, that most of them, came from single parent families. And that single parent, was their mother. Most didn't know who there father was.
Despite their macho talk, these young people, appeared to have feelings for their mothers. despite all the grief they appeared to put them through. Feelings of respect. And feelings of pride.
So, these personal feelings offered a potential motive, for wanting to engage in the world of work. The desire to give back to their mothers. This was a good start. So, this attitude provided a foundation to build on. The next phase of the work, was to help them to manage their lifestyles, and the choices they were making.
It wasn't as if, they wanted to be criminals, or live an unfocused life. That, was simply, all that they knew. So, the next few weeks, were spent challenging their assumptions, about what was possible for their lives. Did it always have to be this way? Or could they have choice about what happened to them?
Things Can Change...
These weren't easy discussions. Some people would walk out, not to return. But in others, you could see a spark start to appear. A spark of hope. A sense that things could change. And that the future did not have to be the same as the past. They may have lived on the worst council estate in London, but that did not mean that they had to be dragged down by it.
They began to speak about their dreams. Their aspirations. Their role models. We worked on their thinking; their beliefs; their habits. And slowly but surely, their resistance to the world of work began to melt.
I took them to visit employers. To see the face of the enemy?. And it began to dawn on them that they could have a place in this world, if they wanted. And we found them employers who would be prepared to give them a chance. A fresh start.
The next challenge would be to prepare them for job interviews. None of the young people had ever been to a job interview before.
And this is where I came into my own. We had found them potential employers, prepared to take a chance on them. But I had to make sure that they were ready.
The Gift...
It was during this process that something happened. Not so much in the young people. But in me. I was able to recognise something about each young person that made them unique. A quality; a something that separated them from the rest. Not necessarily better. Just different. And I was able to champion this strength, with total and utter passion.
It was as if I had found my gift. My special talent, that made me unique. And when I was like this, the young people, seemed to grow in confidence. Grow in themselves as individuals. They may not have had superb CV's.
But they had the one thing they never had before. They felt that they were understood. Recognised. Belonged. And, somewhere, somehow, had a part to play.
In all 50% of the young people who came on the programme, were placed in jobs. I couldn't help everyone. Not that I didn't try. But some of them, were unable, at that time, to overcome some of the social obstacles in their way. Negative peer pressure for example.
The Purple Waistcoat...
It was a hugely satisfying achievement. And the best moment came on the last day of the programme. The young people approached me with a Burton's carrier bag. They gave it to me rather sheepishly. I opened it. And in it was a brand new, shining, purple waistcoat. They had clubbed together, and wanted to thank me for my work. For my belief in them.
It was very moving. Young people are often dismissed out of hand. But this experience proved to me, that within all of us, is something special and unique. If it can be tapped into. And liberated.
During this programme, on the worst council estate in London, I had come to see, that my special gift was to champion the best in others. And from this, to give them confidence about themselves.
You may not live in a run-down council estate, where the police fear to tread. You may not have to steal cars to make money. You may not, never see your father. But, on the Confidence Booster Workout, I will champion you and your uniqueness, with exactly the same passion that I did, with the young people. You will feel that same glow of confidence, that they felt.
I'm not expecting you to buy me a purple waistcoat. But I believe that you will feel the sense of relief that they felt. Relief that says, it's OK to be you. You with all your quirks and foibles. You wrestling, to shake free of the past, as you try to work out your future. You, that knows and feels, that there is much more possible in your life. Much more.
Since that time in Rotherhithe, I have coached a lot of people. People who have come to me wanting to rekindle that spark; that passion that gives them the feeling that their life is on track.
I was approached by the book publishers Hamlyn's, to write a book on my area of expertise,'Confidence'. A book that has since been translated into 6 languages and now sold over 150,000 copies.
I have been lucky. I have found my gift. And now I want to help you find yours. It's in there, within you. And confidence is the key, that will open the door to it.
